Monday, August 10, 2015

Summer Supervillain Madness: The Penultimate Battle


So, this summer I've been running a Supervillain bracket in the Young Adult Room. People have been voting, and as some villains are eliminated others move forward, creating awesome pairings like Loki vs. Vader and cancer vs. Voldemort. However, IMHO, none of the bouts have been as hilariously miss-matched as this week's Sue Sylvester vs. Darth Vader, especially since whoever wins this match will move forward to the final round against Voldemort.

Now, let's not dwell on the differences between Sylvester and Vader, let's instead celebrate their strengths and similarities, the reasons these two may deliver the most epic of battles:

#1) Temper Tantrums
Both of these baddies have a habit of crushing those petty peons who annoy them, Sue likes to shove kids into lockers, Vader's more into choking with his mind. Either way, you do not want to make these people grumpy, even if you're on their side.

#2) They Go to 11
Unsatisfied to simply speak softly and carry a large stick, these two prefer to be amped, Vader with whatever that thing is inside his helmet that makes him sound like James Earl Jones, and Sue with her ubiquitous bullhorn.

#3) Uniformity
Vader stands out from the crowd with his whole vaguely Nazi-ish sci-fi get-up; Sue rocks a track suit, even at her wedding that one time she married herself. However, they insist their little minions dress alike in appropriate gear, whether it's olive green khaki and black boots or short skirts and ponytails.

#4) Construction Zone
These two are constantly trying to build things, from planet-sized death ships to pyramids made out of people. You'd be grumpy too if you're always having to remodel structures that pesky rebels keep knocking down.

#5) Ambition
It's all about empire with these two, and they both want to be on top. (Though they both wisely know that the ultimate power lies not with the figurehead (ie emperor or principal) but with the trusted adviser who controls the funds for various projects, like Death Stars and school clubs.

#6) Weapons of Choice
Light sabers and pom poms: What's the diff, right? OK, I'll admit that's a pretty weak one.

#7) Common Enemy
Sue and Vader both have a love/hate relationship with the person they're supposed to either recruit or destroy. Sue's frenemy is cute and sometimes sings sexy songs; Vader's rival possibly (definitely) is also his son.

* Awesome Vader art by Wraithdt (DeviantArt)

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